Keeping it Minimal During the Season of Excess
I love this time of year, the magic of Christmas as viewed through my children’s eyes, the traditions, the togetherness, and the Christmas lights all around. One thing I’m not so crazy about - the influx of STUFF.
My husband and I are on the same page when it comes to stuff. The more cluttered our house gets, the more cluttered my brain gets, and if things are out of place it drives my husband crazy. With three kids, just the every day influx of stuff can get overwhelming, not to mention birthdays. Christmas is next-level crazy as far as potential stuff goes.
We are really lucky to have a lot of family nearby who find joy in giving to our kids. They all know that space is limited in our house, and we try to keep the toys to a minimum. For some family members it means that they ask what we want/need for the kids and get that and only that, for others who find tremendous joy in giving it means that some of their gifts have short lives inside of our home.
If you are currently starting at overstuffed toy spaces thinking “where am I going to put all the new STUFF?” then maybe sharing what we do can help.
Step 1: The Pre-Christmas Purge
We do toy purges pretty regularly around here. Most of our toys live in storage (my closet), so when we rotate them out we take a few extra minutes to give away, throw away, or store the excess. We try to pay attention to what our kids gravitate towards for independent play, and then sprinkle in some “new” things each rotation. When toys get rotated out they are either trashed (happy meal toys, broken toys, etc), donated (toys that have been outgrown, are annoying to me, or are not played with much), or sent on “vacation” (sent to my closet until it is time for them to be put into rotation again).
A big thing we do to eliminate the overwhelm when we walk through our door with a carload of presents Christmas night is to make room for the new things before they physically invade our space. That means that at least half the playroom cubbies (4 of 8) will be empty. This well-timed purge helps us keep our sanity around here.
Step 2: Communicating with Gift Givers
As mentioned above, we have gift-givers of all types surrounding us. Some take direction from us better than others. I really wouldn’t change anything about it. We get what we need/really want from those who like to ask and we get unexpected surprises from those who find more joy in going out and finding treasures for our kids. We have a good balance of the two. One thing we’ve made a point to do with everyone is to explain that we don’t like a lot of toys out for the kids because we don’t have a lot of space. We also keep a running list of needs/wants that we can reference when someone asks what they can give to our kids.
Step 3: Accepting Differences
One thing I’ve learned is that you really cannot change someones giving habits, but you can change your mindset around it. Instead of letting it drive me crazy when they got a new annoyingly loud toy or an excess of gifts I am thankful that they are so loved by so many people. And really, I wouldn’t want to take away the joy those people get from giving to our kids. I used to fight it, but now I know that we have a toy rotation and purging system to rely on to keep our house in order.
Step 4: Practicing What We Preach
We practice restraint when it comes to giving to our kids. Santa brings one gift from their list (which I unashamedly will influence if necessary), and they get a few small gifts from us (mostly books and needed things). Stockings may have a couple of treats, but are mostly filled with things they need. Last year it was floss and water bottles, this year it’s socks and underwear.
Here’s the FULL list of what the kids are getting from us this year:
Edie:
Santa - Skateboard (and the requisite safety equipment for said skateboard)
A couple of chapter books
An animal encyclopedia
A unicorn piggy bank
Stocking - a book light, socks, underwear
August
Santa - a little coding robot toy
A storybook about Neil Armstrong
A science encyclopedia
New shoes
Stocking - a coin bank he can build himself, socks, underwear
Leo
Santa - a balance bike
A small new toy
A new board book
Stocking - an activity book, training scissors
We also got a small pack of play doh tools to split between the three stockings.
Step 5: A Post-Christmas Assessment/Purge
While we do our best to plan for the influx of new things in Step 1, it’s helpful to take a step back and reassess things when it is all physically in our space. We know some of the gifts they are getting, but not all of them, so once we get it all out of the car and get the kids to bed on Christmas night, we find a place for everything, and if it doesn’t have a place it gets put on vacation to be rotated in during the next playroom purge.
Tips for Success:
Lose the guilt about donating toys.
I used to feel so guilty about donating things given to our kids from family and close friends. I can remember who gave us each toy, and felt like I was betraying them if said toy was donated. Communicating with our gift givers has eased a lot of that guilt. People know that we keep minimal toys, so they don’t come to our house expecting to see a museum of every toy they’ve ever given us.
If donating toys makes you nervous, put them in a trial area.
I used to get scared that my kids would ask for a specific toy the day after I dropped it off at the donation center. Our old system involved putting toys into the donation box and only donating them if they were not asked for for a specific amount of time. As it turns out, only one toy has ever been asked for after putting it in the donation pile. I told said kid that toy was on “vacation” and would be coming out to play in the next rotation, but it turns out that it was forgotten after that and so it got donated anyway. Our kids know that toys get rotated, so they don’t even ask about specific toys anymore. That is a bonus of being open with them about not needing everything we own out and available all the time.
Not all of the new toys have to be put out at once
Last year a close friend of mine took the majority of her kids newly acquired Christmas toys and hid them. She doled them out slowly over the course of the year which made them more exciting than if they were all lumped into one new pile in the beginning. I’m keeping this in mind to try this year.
Get your kids involved little by little.
When I do a big purge, I do it alone. Nothing is more precious to a child than the toy previously discarded in the back of the closet that gets put into the “donate” pile. That being said, I do think it’s important to teach the kids about giving to those who are not as lucky as them, getting rid of excess, and recognizing when a previously loved toy has been outgrown. We do this in different ways, but finding an age appropriate way to teach them these things is important to us. It can be as simple as “you have 15 cars, can you pick __ cars to give to a little boy who doesn’t have any cars”?
Adapt the above to work for your family.
I’m not even going to pretend that what we do is perfect for every family out there. It is what works for us right now, and nothing more. Take the above and tweak it to work for your family. Take baby steps. We’ve been purging and rotating toys for years, so don’t expect to be able to seamlessly implement everything in a single night.